How often have you said it loud that" I am in pain, this situation has created so much of pain and grief, it just pains me when I remember the past, I wish that I never went through the pain" etc.
We all have gone through our share of pain, agony and grief. Interestingly, we often remember these situation(s), it's negative effect, the people who seem to be responsible or inflicted (most time this irks the most) the situation and so on.
It becomes a never ending cycle and we keep remembering them/situation once in a while, sometimes very deeply and at times just a glimpse. This continues and burst of emotions in spurts distracts us until we want to put this to rest. The way out is - "Transmuting Pain in to a Purpose"
Situation 1
"I helped my good friend at his/her time of need, stood beside to ensure that he/she feel comfortable. Now that all is well, my friend does not even remember me."
Option 1 - Pain inflicting mode on
- Keep mourning about it, feel low, curse your friend, curse yourself as to why you did so blah blah and blah...
Option 2 - Purpose mode on
- You are a person who loves to stand by a loved one at times of distress. Give yourself kudos. Not many think that way.
- You learnt to tackle or understand the situation that your friend faced, you grew in terms of experience.
- You acted with empathy and integrity, just remove the expectation part from it
- Identify opportunities (people, organizations, teams) that need your time, value your knowledge, look for your support to step up and solve their problems
- Keep thinking what might have gone wrong, what you might have said or done that could have irked them
- Self pity and dejected feeling
- Keep talking about why me and feel low
- You cherish the relationship that you had, you try and have tried to build the bridge and keep the relationship strong
- Accept that relationships cannot be unidirectional
- Accept that they are individuals, have a life and their priorities
- Invest your energy, love and affection on something that you truly love to do, which makes your soul happy
- Keep your doors open and heart welcoming if the "cows turn home"
- Keep getting upset about why you did not get what you thought
- Be sad about others who are getting recognized
- Keep comparing yourself with others and feel miserable
- Why your organization does not consider you
Option 2 - Purpose mode on
- Acknowledge and give yourself kudos for the sincerity and hard work you do
- Appreciate your work ethics and commitment that you show
- Identify areas that you may want to improve and learn from your mistakes (as may be)
- Check on how you have progressed and improved, lessons you have learnt and experience gained during the journey
- Always remember there will be someone who will acknowledge your true value. This not your final destination
- Never let your attitude and ethics goes down - come what be. This is what you carry forward
